"Not Nice" is the Way to Find Your Identity The blog posts on 1/25/23 and 2/5/23 discussed the first two steps of finding one's true identity: (1) Small and consistent steps of change and (2) unconditional self-love. This week's post will discuss step three: "Not Nice." Society has conditioned us from a young age to "play nice." Many of us hope that being "nice" will earn people's approval and a favorable view of ourselves. We have been told that only "nice" boys and girls receive gifts from Santa. Conventional wisdom believes that if one is not "nice" then one must be "naughty." However, "not nice" is not naughty, but being authentic to oneself. When one is forced to go against one's true identity in order to "play nice," one is regressing on the path of finding one's true identity. The emphasis is on being authentic, not selfish. They are two distinct characteristics. A s