"Go Big or Go Home" Does NOT Work

The band American Authors in 2015 released "Go Big or Go Home" (GBGH) in their "What We Live For" album. The song itself is quite catchy and the tune is very upbeat. The general public seems to have taken the title of this song and applied it to nearly all our life events where if no big gestures are made, then one's actions are not worth it. If one pays closer attention to the lyrics, the song itself seems quite depressing where the lead in the song appears to be quite desperate. I personally believe that the overly quoted and applied phrase of "Go big or go home" rarely works. If a man wants to get a bigger chest, then benchpress seems to be quite effective to stimulate the mid-chest muscles. If GBGH works, then he should strive for a benchpress of 200 lbs with 100 repetitions since that is BIG for most people. However, how many people can go that big when one starts on the journey of getting a bigger chest? Either the person cannot even lift the 200-lb weight or, even if the person were an elite bodybuilder, the person will not likely be able to do 100 pushes without taking breaks in between. Finally, the person is unlikely to enjoy the process even if 100 repetitions are achieved and will not ever want to do it again.

On the contrary, go small and steady appears to be the universal truth to achieve the results one desires. For example, a consistent single drop of water can eventually erode a solid rock down and cut through it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lui-5ag1yAI). The principle is consistency and persistence. Let me use poet Shel Silverstein's poem about Melinda Mae as an illustration.

Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,

Who ate a monstrous whale?

She thought she could,

She said she would,

So she started in right at the tail.

And everyone said,"You're much too small,"

But that didn't bother Melinda at all,

She took little bites and she chewed very slow,

Just like a little girl should...

...and eighty-nine years later she ate that whale

Because she said she would!!!

Melinda Mae said she would as that was how she identified herself as the person who could eat the monstrous whale. As society wants us to go big or go home, we may want to rethink whether it actually works. Dumping a huge bucket of water over a rock will definitely not erode or break the rock right away. One pushup will not give a person the physique he or she wants. One small bite of the whale did not make very much of a difference to the whale Melinda Mae was eating. However, each action one does is a vote or declaration of who one wants to be. If the action persists for a long time, the person solidifies the identity he or she wants to be and becomes that identity. 

As whales seem to be the theme of this post, for those of you have read my January 14, 2023 post about Moon the humpback whale, you may recall that on average it takes a healthy female humpback whale about 36 days to make the approximately 3,000 miles of journey to travel from British Columbia to Maui with the aid of the powerful tail a whale can rely on. For Moon, due to her broken back that rendered her tail completely immobile, it took Moon nearly three times of the average travel days to swim with only her pectoral fins to arrive in the protective crystal blue water sanctuary of the Maui Nui Basin, which is situated in waters between Maui, Lana'i, and Kaho'olawe. Moon definitely did not go big, but she achieved what her true identity of a whale called out to her to embark on a journey she did not know if she could complete. 

Some of my readers asked me how one can start on the journey of discovering one's true identity. I plan to break the process down in a series of my weekly posts. In this post, I give the first step to my readers in achieving one's true identity: start small and strive to be consistent/persistent. If you want to return to your workout routine, start by getting your workout clothes ready the night before your intended workout day. If you did not go and workout, that is OK. You have casted your first vote to identify yourself an active, exercising person. The second night, put the workout clothes close to the shoes you have set in an obvious place. The next day, if you put on your workout shoes and clothes, but your schedule distracted you from going to the gym or the walk you wanted to do, that is OK since you now have casted two votes to the identity you want to cultivate. Eventually, you will put the shoes and clothes on and walk out of your door to do something you want to. Once you get to walk for one minute, then you should celebrate as that is a third vote for your desired identity. By going small and consistent, one is highly unlikely to be frustrated and give up like most people's New Year Resolutions. I hope you will follow Melinda Mae's example to go small and consistent. Each small act is your declaration of who you truly are. These tiny actions will one day help you realize the identity you know you want to be. I will share other steps and examples in my weekly posts. Now, go small and achieve big.

Jason Chen, PhD